Ben Folds

Woke up this morning, what do I see
Three thousand cameras pointed at me
Dude says, "You Levi?"
I'm like, "Yes, that's me sir"
"Well you just knocked up the VP nominee's daughter"
So I tell him "No, you got it wrong mister,
Already got a girl and her name's Bristol"
They all laugh and say "Where you been, sonny?
Your mother in law's a heartbeat from the presidency"
So I say, "Mother in law? No, we aint getting married"
They say, "Soon you will boy, she just announced it"
I get on my dirtbike and ride to my girl's home
Gonna lay down the law
Tell her what's goin' on
I'm a fuckin' redneck, I live to hang out with the boys
Play some hockey, do some fishin' and kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit and do some chillin' I guess
You fuck with me and I'll kick your ass
So we talk and it turns out we don't believe in abortion
And sex outside marriage is against our religion
And when I try to tell them I'm 18 years old,
They say "Levi it's too late, you've got to do as you're told"
I'm a fuckin' redneck, I live to hang out with the boys
Play some hockey, do some fishin' and kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit and do some chillin' I guess
You fuck with me and I'll kick your ass