10,000 Maniacs

To think of my task is chilling. To know I was carefully building the
mask I was wearing for two years, swearing I`d tear it off. I`ve sat
in
the dark explaining to myself that I`m straining too hard for feelings
I
ought to find easily. Called myself Jezebel. I don`t believe.
Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart.
Family is family, don`t let this tear us apart.
You lie there, an innocent baby. I feel like the thief who is raiding
your home, entering and breaking and taking in every room. I know your
feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow. But I`m
a
shadow, I`m only a bed of blackened coal. Call myself Jezebel for
wanting
to leave.
I`m not saying I`m replacing love for some other word to describe the
sacred tie that bound me to you. I`m just saying we`ve mistaken one
for
thousands of words. And for that mistake, I`ve caused you such pain
that I
damn that word. I`ve no more ways to hide that I`m a desolate and
empty,
hollow place inside.
I`m not saying I`m replacing love for some other word to describe the
sacred tie that bound me to you. I`m not saying love`s a plaything.
No,
it`s a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you.
How
I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife, to weave our
lives
into a blindfold over both our eyes.