Bobby Bare

(Shel Silverstein)
Well. he rode through the woods on a big blue ox
He had fists as hard as choppin' blocks
Five hundred pounds and nine feet tall,
That's Paul.
Talk about working when he swung his ax
You could hear it ring for a mile and half
He'd yell timber and down she'd fall
For Paul.
Talk about drinkin' that man's so mean
That he'd never drink nothin' but kerosene
A five gallon can is a little bit small
For Paul.
Talk about women that man's so lusty
Needs a woman ever hour just to keep from gettin' rusty
Young ones run and the old ones crawl
To Paul.
Talk about tough well he once had a fight
With a thunderstorm on a cold dark night
I ain't sayin' who won but it don't storm at all round here
Thanks to Paul.
He was ninety years old when he said with a sigh
Said I think I'm gonna lay right down and die
'Cause sunshine and sorrow I've seen it all
Says Paul.
Says there ain't no man alive can kill me
Ain't no woman left can thrill me
And I think a heaven just might be a ball
Says Paul.
So he died and we cried.
It took eighteen men just to bust that ground
Took three or four more just to lower him down
Then we covered him up and we figured that was all
For Paul.
But late one night the trees started shaking
And the dogs started barking and the earth started quaking
And out of the ground with the hi ye all
Came Paul.
Well he shook the dirt from off his clothes
He scratched his ass and wiped his nose
You know being dead wasn't no fun at all
Says Paul.
He said now up in heaven they got harps on their knees
They got clouds and wings but they got no trees
I don't think that's much of a heaven at all
Says Paul.
So he jumps on his ox with a fare thee well
He said I'll find out if they got trees in hell
And he rode away and that was all we ever seen
Of Paul.
But the next time you hear a timber yell
That sounds like it's comin' from the pits of hell
Then a boomin' laugh and a ghostly wail
Like somebody choppin' on the devil's tail.
Then a shout and a call a crash and a fall
That ain't no mortal man at all
That's just Paul...