Dane Cook

There are some things I have learned in my recent past
that I'm excited to share with you tonight,
and one thing I've realized is that we all want to leave behind a legacy;
we all want to be remembered for something.
And then I was thinking going, “How can I be remembered?”
and then I suddenly realized you can do it on a daily bases,
even if it's one on one with people.
For example, the other day, I saw a young boy,
and he was eating an ice cream cone,
I ran up and I smashed it into his face,
I leaned in, I go, “You remember me forever!” and I ran away.
Cause you know when he's 50, he's gonna be like,
“One day a man ran up to me, I did not know this man,
he smashed my treat into my eyes. And he pointed and said,
"You fuckin remember me forever."”
But I did not say fuckin, I did not say that.
He added fuckin to make the story more intense and interesting.
He deserves to have ice cream smashed in his face,
cause he's a lying 50 year old man. I did NOT say fuckin.