Eminem

*Tuning Tv*
*Eminem Snortin' Crack
Tv Presenter:
Hello boys and girls
Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships
Do you have a daddy?
I'll bet you do
*Door opens*
Who's your daddy?
Hailie:
Daddy, what're you doing?
Beat starts
Eminem:
Ha Ha!
Eminem & Hailie:
Ok then! Everybody, listen up!
Eminem:
I'm goin' to hell, who's comin' with me?
Hailie:
(innocently) Somebody, PLEASE help him!
*giggle*
I think my dad gone crazy!
Verse 1:
There's no mountain I can't climb
There's no tower too high,
No plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you
There ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to
*Hailie Makes Chainsaw Sound*
Fuckin' brain's brawn, and brass balls
I cut 'em off, I got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar
Inside of a hall, with my framed autograph,
Sunglasses with Elton John's name, on my drag wall
I'm out the closet, I been lyin' my ass off
All this time, me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off
Dre:
Suck it Marshall!
Eminem:
Tell Laura and her husband to back off
Before I push this muthafuckin' button and blast off
And launch one of these Russians, and that's all
*Hailie Makes Explosion Sound*
Blow every fuckin' thing, except Afghanistan on the map, off
When will it stop, when will I knock the crap off
*Knocking*
Hailie, tell 'em baby
Hailie:
My dad's lost it
Chorus
Eminem:
There's really nothin' else to say I, I can't explain it
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell them baby
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
There's nothin' you could do or say, that could ever change me
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Verse 2:
It's like my mother always told me
*Eminem Impersinates His Mom*
Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe Rannhe, n codeine n goddammit, you little motherfucker
If you ain't got nothin' nice to say then don't say nothin'
uh..
Fuck that shit, bitch, eat a motherfuckin' dick
Chew on a prick, and lick a million muthafuckin' cocks per second
I'd rather put out a muthafuckin' gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy-whipped bitch, eat pussy
And have pussy-lips glued to my face with a clit-ring in my nose
Then quit bringin' my flows, quit givin' me my ammo
Can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go eenie meenie minie mo
Catch a homo by his toe, man, I don't know no more
Am I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more?
Hailie:
Dad!
Chorus
Verse 3:
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
And at the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
So what you're seein' is a genius at work
Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first,
'Cuz when I speak, it's tongue in cheek
I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightnin' twice at once
And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with shit, every time I sung
Like R. Kelly as soon as "bump n' grind" comes on
More pain inside o' my brain, than in the eyes of a little girl inside of a
plane
Aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave,
Screamin' at the sky, the clouds gather it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the jist of it,
Parents are pissed, but the kids love it
Nine millimeter, heater's stashed and two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither
Chorus
Outro
Eminem:
Crazy
Hailie:
*laughs*
You're funny daddy!