Jamie Cullum

Just one local call and you'll see
A happy path through life not for free
A little bit fat you can't get a girl
Short on cash I'll change your world
The only way now is straight up
Your deepest despair I'll make it stop
Just 19.95 all major credit cards
And you'll stay alive and you'll go far
In just seven short days
You'll change your life
All of your innocence found
You'll even lose a few pounds
See yourself making a mint
Quality time with your kids
Send me your money and I'll change your life
I know sometimes your life is a bitch
So come purchase my easy fix
I've been there myself sad fat and bald
But soon with my help, you'll have it all
Ill build you back up for the fight
You'll be so wound up your stomachs tight
Your the laugh of the party you'll get yourself laid
Surely you'll trust me once I've been paid