Barenaked Ladies

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs,
I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She circled the word romance
So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic,
I shaved her name in my head
As she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said?
(chorus)
These apples are delicious!
As a matter of fact they are, she said
Can all this fruit be free?
She wrote me a letter as big as a phone book
I've never been big on mail