Eminem

Yo, mic check
Testing one, two, um... twelve
My favourite color is red, like the blood shed
From Kurt Cobain's head when he shot himself dead
Women all grabbin' at my shishkabob
Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve
You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so
Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat
I got a wardrobe with an orange robe
I'm in the fourth row, signin' autographs until my show
I just remembered that I'm absent minded
Wait, I mean I've lost my mind I can't find it
I freestylin every verse that I spit
Cuz I don't even remember the words to my shit
I told the doc that I need a change in sickness
I gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphillis
Put my LP on your Christmas gift list
You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this
Cum on everybody, get down tonight
I tried suicide once and I'll try it again
That's why I write songs where I die at the end
Cuz I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck
And I was waving it at everybody screamin' "I suck"
I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd
And yell out loud "All y'all get the hell out now"
Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up y'all, I'm sorry
But Eminem this is your record release party!
I'm bored out of my gourd
So I took a hammer and nailed my foot the the floorboard of my Ford
I guess I'm just a sick, sick bastard
Just one sandwich short of a picnic basket
One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet
Feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage
And if you ever see a video for this shit
I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit
Cum on everybody, get down tonight
Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit
Cuz they think I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy
So I told 'em I was Mike D, they was like
Gee I don't know, he might be!
I told em meet me at Kid Rock's next concert
I'll be standin by the Loch Ness monster, peace out
Then I jetted to the weed house, smoked out til I started bustin freestyles
Broke out
Then I dipped quick, back to the crib, put on lipstick
Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick
Made a couple of prank calls collect
(Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?)
I wanna make songs all the fellas dog
And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of
So just remember when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset
Cum on everybody get down tonight