With Honor

Please tell me how we did this,
We got ourselves into such a mess again.
We've fought so long we can't remember what the
hell it was all about.
I can't count the times I've turned around, cheated
my promises, and sold you out.
How is this not a waste of time, these blind eyes
won't see me through.
I'm feeling for a hand to hold me now, lift the veil,
see the truth.
There's so much further left to climb, and not one
inch has been secure.
I'm feeling for a hand to hold me now, lift the veil,
and endure.
Be it my dexterity for long-winded alibis,
But excuses came full circle months ago.
I've wanted to walk away, but it can't be right,
To forget the knocking and throw the fight,
Silence the wanting and blackout the firelight.
I'm digging deep to find resolve to change, will to
draw lines.
I'm putting old ways to the knife, I'm dying here this
time.
Because honestly I can't relate,
While lying to your face everyday.
With webs of lies spun to justify all of my many failures.
I've realized my heart's content,
I may never see an end.
So when you need me I'll be outside throwing rocks
at the moon every night.
'til the day I die.
I still believe that faith can move the mountains.