Tankard

Can this be or am I dreaming?
What a mess!
Woke up drunk lying on the floor
This cannot be, my place is trashed
Broken bottles everywhere
Vomit oozing down the stairs
I asked myself how did this happen
Don't recall
Why the nasty, pounding headache?
I need relief, where's the tylenol
Lying in my bed! With a swollen head!
What did I do? I always regret the morning after!
Morning's passed, now I think I remember
Holy shit!
Ugly bitch playing with my member
Mutated sow with an extra tit
Senseless ruckus late at night
That's when we began to fight
Four AM and we were hungry