Saliva

Pulling myself apart today,
To see whats underneath,
I analyse the things I say,
Its a mystery to me.
Why cant I be normal like everyone else?
Why cant I become something more than myself?
I reach and I'm trying to believe in me,
But its just too hard to see.
Who am I now?
And when will I be found?
What if I drown?
Im going under now....
Lost like a ship without a sail,
And terrified to fail,
Sick of the sickness that I feel,
Its a mystery to me...
Why cant I be normal like everyone else?