Novembers Doom

How many times have I fallen before you
How much longer can I go on
To raise to my feet, to try this game again
I often point fingers of blame
If only my mother knew the real me
Her heart would break, for I am shame
Not the strong man she raised from birth
A coward, a child, and a scared soul
In my dreams, I can fly away
And look back through tears of pain
Even if I were to never awake
I would still have my downtime