My Ruin

dishonest
you came with your first kiss
blue eyes sold me your heavenly presence
something was suffocating me and i couldn't breathe
had no idea that you would ever deceive
i tried to believe all the things that you taught me
christlike images of truth
they straight got me
now watch me drown in sadness
my lungs gasp for air as i let you stab this heart
and rip apart wounds that exist
deeper and darker than any words i could spit
all is shit
and it will never be well
because the fires that burn are my never ending hell
is this what you call god?
your faith is lost
is this what you call god?
get off your cross
get off
bridges connect for necessity
lifelines scar my hands like the rest of me
asked me to trust you and yes i tried to
constant apologies caused me to lie too
tried to medicate my hate with your magic
how could something so sweet end up so tragic
resurrect me from this abyss
in death every body function fails to exist
false commitments
tongues twisted with religion
a heart shaped rock of the same size incision
obsolete
with no relief or release
just insomnia filled nights of never ending sleep
is this what you call god?
your faith is lost
is this what you call god?
get off your cross
split a piece of wood and i am there
lift a stone and you will find me
are you still scared?
sanctuary
sanctuary
sanctuary
there's no sanctuary
is this what you call god?
is this what you call
god
is this
is this
is this what you call love?
get off
get off
watch me
get off
get off
watch me
get off
get off
now watch me fall
i swallowed all of your lies
and they felt good going down
death be not proud