Sopor Aeternus

Once there was a time,
when the conquest of
pain was all that I
could hope for, had
been my only aim.
Happiness or joy merely
unwords without meaning,
they were unwanted
anyway as surely out of place.
All I wanted was the
voices to be silent
a brief moment in the
dark, in loneliness and chill.
How I wished my mind
could escape the camat dungeon
that was flying silently
through space while
I lay caged and chained within.
Today my view - strangely
increased - it is beyond compare,
but nothing became easier,
I'm still struggling to be free.
A thousand different things
dare to appear before my eyes
now, they come and leave
untouched, because still I cannot see.
In true darkness there's
no choice than do discover
the uselessness of eyes,
giving birth from their own despair.
Here eyes can nothing but
decay and if I fail and do
identify myself with them
then their destiny I'll share...
You are with me all the time - all
the time. So very unreasonable
had been my fear. How could
I ever believe that I might
be losing you when forever
we're connected and you
are part of me. It's your
omnipresence that defines
the way in which I do
exist, forcefully leading
me back to where I do belong.
Opening my eyes to see
the true essence of my
being, by dissolving