Lard

I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog
So I can snort coke all day long
Bite my master when it suits me
Get off on diminished capacity
I wanna be a customs man
Snoop through your stuff 'cause I can
Sneaky peaky pry through your private lives
Stroke your panties, jackin' off at lunch
Weh oh, Weh oh ho
Sure beats Alpo
It's the life
It's the stink
It's the attitude
I wanna be a San Francisco cop
So I can speed and run red lights
And sure as Rodney was a King