Every Time I Die

i am a very important person.
i've acquired a genetically altered handshake capable of speeds up to 30 mph.
hair arranged by the most advanced landscape surveillance operators our
company can afford.
i have a very expensive pen.
i use big words quite often in substitution for semantically equivalent words.
i attribute this success to my professional demeanor and my strong stock
portfolio.
though it may not appear so, i am quite comfortable in my surroundings.
i have everything, let me show you around.
smile you fucker, it's not often you get this chance.
love is just an exchangeof corporate documents.
i've reviewed your rapport and i feel you're a prospect for mechanical
salvation.
this is a joint venture that will be mutually advantageous to both parties