Autopilot Off

As I kick myself again,
and I try to pick myself back up again,
Don't want to make the same mistakes.
Always the first with an excuse,
but it's when you're cornered by the truth.
Sometimes it's easier that way.
As you turn away
When realization stares you down,
And you swear you've come to terms, I'm wary.
I've seen it all too many times.
It never made much sense,
So I always had to stop and second guess.
Defeat myself before I start.